Anorexic Football Floatation Device
Kick my crotch like you know you should
I think it feels real good
Break my scrotum with your shin
That's when the fun begins
Kick my crotch
Kick, kick my crotch
Kick my crotch
Kick, kick my crotch
Make my nuts fall on the floor
Why don't you stomp some more?
If you want to be my friend
Just kick my crotch again
Kick my crotch, c'mon
I know that you want to
Kick my crotch, you have to
You know it's good for you, soo-ooo
C'mon, kick 'em
My balls are turning blue
So please kick 'em, crush 'em
Smash them with your shoe
Kick my crotch
Why can't we have Reagan back?
Why can't we have Reagan back?
He's a cyborg
I ain't lyin' boy!
He's a cyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyborg…. Reagan!
Why were the 80's so great?
Why did the 90's eat shit?
It's because no one in present office
has dared to unleash the secret of the cyborg
Why didn't Nancy do drugs?
Why did Nancy say no?
Nancy's only got one fucking tit!
But she still knew the secret of the cyborg
Ain't got no big balls for crickets
Little hopping bastards
Always reproducing
Just got flyswatter for crickets
Watching my skin crawl in
My own house makes me kill
And the crickets rule my mind
But I'll die before they win
I've got hell to give those
Crickets
Cave crickets
No sir, don't think I'll keep crickets
One day, they'll evolve and
Feast upon my asleep ass
I'm fair-giving chance to crickets
They can live in the crawl space
as long as they're not in my basement
But the crickets never leave
Ignoring all of my warnings
I've got hell to give those
Crickets
Cave crickets
Cave crickets
Cave crickets
I used to like you
But now you drive me up the wall
This just can't go on
It's time I realize that...
I hate you, I want to
Murder you
Yes I do
If it's you, I've got to
Murder you
Don't bother trying to stop me
I'm backed by everybody
Though I don't know where to begin
I'm done when I have smashed your head in
I hate you (15X)
I want to murder you
Welcome to the Wonderful World of Amazing Live
Sea Monkeys, never thought I'd create life
Time travelers asleep in biological time
capsules for their strange journey into the future
I have a Sea Monkey Life Insurance policy
They come direct with a growth guarantee
I wish Sea Monkeys could come out and play with me
All of this is possible by cryptobiosis
Ohhhhhh-oh
New amazing hobby that is so fantastic
Ohhhhhh-oh
Staggers the imagination
Water and crystals
Sitting in my room
Minding my own business
Thinking that life's not fair
A demon appeared
He said, "C'mon, kid I'll
show you where there's underwear"
Flames and lava
Stalactites
I'm naked from the waist down
I went down to hell
I returned with the devil's frilly knickers in my hand
It's not as I planned
I battle demons to protect the frilly knickers of the damned.DAMN!
Naked Lucifer
He doesn't have his pants
I can see demonic schlong
Powerful knickers
I whoop the devil good
The knickers made me strong
Bow and lace
Knicker power
The devil's the one naked now
How many times have I told you?
No toilet paper on the ground when you poop
How many times have I asked you what
Are all the things that you stick up your butt?
Could it be a shoehorn?
Or a bottle of Coke?
Maybe your roommate
Man, you're really retarded
Larry---Severely retarded
Larry---Onychomycois
Larry---Sensori-nueral impairment
Larry---Absence of right jaw
How many times have I asked you to stop
Asking me for a mother fucking pop?
One more time I'll ask you what
Are all the things that you stick up your butt?
I can see
I can see
That you're really retarded
I can see
I'd like to be
A little retarded
I said, "You're big hell, baby."
She slapped me 'till my jaw: slack
I tried to run and hide but
She kicked my in my ballsack
Soprano cries engulfed in thighs
Her girth encased my head, yeah
I said, "Big hell, you're fat, big hell,
My eyes will see you dead."
Big hell
Hell is dwarfed to your gargantuan
Ass
You think I'm fuckin' lyin'?
Still trying to get away, but
The pressure's crushing my head
Don't want to die by fat, but
Don't think she'll stop 'till I'm dead
I lit a match under a patch
Of rampant cellulose, yeah
I screamed, "Big hell, you're awful hell,
Can't wait to kill you dead."
You are my turtle
and I will take good care of you
But I can't keep up
with your constant, massive output of poop
You are my turtle and I see
I switched you from the wild to captivity
But you'll grow up strong
One day you'll be gone and then you'll be my pipe
Whoa-o-o-o-o-o
You'll be my pipe
Whoa-o-o-o-o-o
You'll be my pipe
Don't get me wrong, I'll love you to the natural end of your life
But when you die, I'll scrape out your guts and screw in a pot bowl
You're a good turtle
You eat cat food and you don't bite me
I'll feed you more worms
Your contact buzz deserves a healthy feast
You are my turtle, sadly see
My primary interest holds that of me
But you'll be a bong
Oh, not until you're gone, so smile, you'll be my pipe
I'm so glad you never made it to kindergarten (Preschool whore) X2
I'm telling Mom, I'm telling Dad
I'm the best, so don't be mad
You will see that in the future
I'll be good and you'll be bad
I'm your Mom, yes, I'm your Dad
I'm the best you could have had
In the future you will wish that
it was me that you did have
Preschool whore (4X)
I have an
itch for my
tard to get some ink
It's time for
a tard tat
but what of, I think
He's got his mind set upon it
He wants mom with a heart around it
I tell him
to avoid
a tard tat cliché
He laughs and
I know that
he probably pooped his pants
We went into the bathroom to check
He must've ate a pound of Ex-lax
Tarded
He's a tard
I took him to change his pants and ask him if he'll be tattooed
Yeah, a tard tat
Tat for tard
He can't remember what a tattoo is or why he wanted one, oh yeah
He is a tard, that's all there is and I don't care about it
He is a tard, that's all there is and I don't care about it
He is a tard, that's all there is and I don't care about it
(I've lost my mind)
He is a tard, that's all there is and I don't care about it
(I've lost my mind)
Kitty fetches milk rings
Kitty pukes a lot
Kitty perches when he poops
Always firm and not like soup
Kitty is the craziest cat I ever fuckin' saw, whoa-oh
Kitty looks with wide eyes
Kitty's always gone
Kitty jumps up in the air
No reason at all for fear
Why, oh why is Kitty nuts, what caused him to fuck up?
I wanna know what's wrong with Kitty
Was he abused when he was itty bitty?
I agree that cat abuse is shitty
but I wanna know what Kitty is crazy for
Kitty thinks he's hunted
Kitty won't be caught
Kitty darts out the room
Cloud of dust, sonic boom
Kitty is the craziest cat I ever fuckin' saw, whoa-oh
Kitty fetches milk rings
I had to say that again
Kitty fetches milk rings
Nothing else, just milk rings
Why, oh why is Kitty nuts, what caused him to fuck up?
Mud is mud 'till the water leaves the dirt
Add more water, you get more mud
Mud is mud 'till the water leaves the dirt
Add more dirt, you get more mud
Well I live in a different world
and here it doesn't rain
You would think that we don't have mud
Wrong!! .we don't have dirt
No we don't have dirt (3X)
If a glass of water is half full
You're an idiot
Free time isn't money, unless the money's funny money
I'm so smart
I give everybody shirts before I put them on my back
It seems sometime back
I must have taken a wrong turn for the better
Break a law, you go downtown
Except gravity, then you go up
I'll turn myself in, inside out
Burn bridges, louganis.com
Louganis.com (24X or so.)
Anorexic Football Floatation Device
What are you looking at?
Not much to see here
This device has many dibs
Shove the football into my ribs
Hey man, are you still here?
Stop eyeing my bony raft
Skin and bones, I float, play ball
Ain't ever said much at all, and I
Float (strap on my helmet)
Float (shoulder pads)
Float (none of that eating)
Anorexic football floatation device
Have you never seen my kind?
Do I look all that strange?
Well, I tell you, I don't give a fuck
Oh shit, here comes the duck!
Paddle as fast as I can
Gotta get away from that duck
Why won't he leave me alone?
I'm nothing but skin and bone, and I
There is a dog who shits in my yard
When I tell him to get out, he barks at me
I'm really wanting to kill him hard
I'm really wanting to kill him hard
And the dog keeps on pooping
Regardless of my kicking
Oh no, it's another shit mine
The neighbor's dog always shits in my yard
Why does that fucker choose mine?
He's got a whole block to litter with shit
I never see the shit until it's on my shoe
Covert defecation, one day I'll best you
I'm really wanting to kill that dog
Crunch all his bones with my car
Clanky, clanky go the knees of Al
Don't get me wrong, he's my cool ass pal
He fucks my grandma
And he's my step-grandpa
Hear the notes of the organ played
Hide the squeaks of the organs laid
Hey, that's my grandma
And he's my step-grandpa
Oh yeah, he's my step-grandpa (oh yeah, oh yeah)
Oh yeah, he's my step-grandpa
I'm content that my grandma is happy
Didn't think she'd find another old man
But I guess age is all in your head
Hey Al, I got something to say (hey Al, hey Al)
Quit fucking my grandma, ..please
It makes me feel really weird, and I don't like it
Billy
She seems to like it
You fucking son of a bitch
How dare you even look at me?
An illegal traffic lane switch
I know you'll die eventually
Do you see that lever on your left?
Yeah, down's left and up's right
I'd love to smash into your car
And leave you there to die
How the hell
Did you get licensed?
I don't know
If I can fight this
I'm just gonna explode
I often dream of a day
When I'll enforce the law
I'll make all the idiots pay
By ticketing them all
How much time does it really take
To signal your intent?
Electric cars that shock stupid drivers
I one day will invent
I'm in shock
The danger's so real
They let you drive
An automobile
I'm just gonna explode
I don't like
That I can't be mellow when I take care of your tards
And I don't see why I
Can't be stoned when I'm watching TV on your couch
The ones with cataracts
Could see a lot better if they took a hit of my joint
Why not improve their lives?
A little hallucinogen goes a long way if you're a tard
Please stop workplace drug-screening me
I've got plenty of drugs in my pee
You wish that you were half as uninhibited
You just need to smoke a fat joint, fuck off
Explain to me
Why a constant good mood and laughing a lot is bad
Imagine being retarded
You know being high would be a vacation to them
Some need to gain weight
Well, a munchified tard could eat his way to good health
Why not improve their life
A little retarded guy goes a long way if he's stoned
Flying through space in my invisible jet
Must thwart Zorak's evil plans
Have to settle Brak's pickled egged debt
I've got my armbands but where are my pants?
Where are my pants? If I had them, I would say:
Hi, kids, I'm Space Ghost
I'm your intergalactic host
Broadcasting from coast to coast
Now sit back and have some toast with
Space Ghost
Space Ghost
(I'm your Space Ghost)
Space Ghost
Space Ghost
Driving down Highway 40 in my big ol' pickup truck
I've got ratings on my mind
That insect Zorak is an evil little fuck
I've got my hood and cape but where are my pants?
Where are my pants? If I had them I would say:
You thought I was a bad dream when you saw me next to your small bed
You soon knew my reality as I thumped upon your puny head
Behold my great existence as I skeletize your tiny frame
I only spare the faithful that exalt and praise my spooky name
Backup vocals: I am Skeletor
Hark! I am Skeletor!
Bow and kiss my skully boots
Gaze into my glowing eyes and
Tremble at the power of Greyskull
Now that you know I am, won't you join the ranks of living dead?
Let us crush this He-man and we'll feast upon his muscled head
Half the sword is mine to keep and half the sword is mine to steal
Why not join my army and make He-man a most tasty meal?
Hark!
I am Skeletor!
Hark!
I am Skeletor!
